Meditation Madness
You can’t even squint vaguely in the direction of the spiritual movement without stumbling across the grand concept of oneness with the universe known as MEDITATION. You sit quietly in your sacred space (read wherever you manage to find five minutes of peace from the outside world), close your eyes, calm your breathing, and allow your mind to close out the rest of the world, until…do penguins have knees?…how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?…if Fred has four eggs and Peter has two ducks what is the circumference of this circle?…Your brain simply won’t shut off. It could put the Energizer Bunny to shame as it just keeps going and going. This is not uncommon in people new to meditation and I have been assured that it can be mastered but no amount of practice has ever convinced my brain to just shut the heck up! So I went looking for some alternatives and I was not disappointed in the least. If your brain is as noisy as mine give some of these a go. They have truly transformed my meditation sessions into amazingly positive experiences.
Productive Meditation
It may seem counterproductive to be productive while meditating but this one works a treat for people who thrive on busy work. Find an activity that you can do with your hands that doesn’t require your brain to be engaged. A repetitive activity such as knitting or crocheting is great for this as once the skill is learned your hands seem to be able to function without thought. The active hands satisfy whichever part of the brain demands movement and function whilst allowing your mind to drift away. Please note that when knitting or crocheting for this activity you need to choose something that doesn’t require a pattern. I recommend basic granny squares or a scarf. With enough practice you can get double duty out of your meditation practice by selling the created by-products of your session. You should find that after a bit of practice any items that you create during these sessions will be imbued with the calming energies that you experienced during your meditations – a truly magical and highly beneficial activity for you and the recipient of your work.
Dance/Movement Meditation
If you’re feeling extra restless this is a great alternative for you. The aim is to be able to disengage the mind so make sure that whatever form of movement you use it is safe for you to not focus on your whereabouts. I have heard some people insist that any dance or movement needs to be gentle but I think this is all about personal preference. In my experience a trip to the gym and thirty minutes on the treadmill at a nice comfortable walking pace are bang on for this type of meditation. Alternatively crank your favourite tunes and get your booty bopping around your living room.
Screaming Meditation
I’m sure you’ve heard of the therapeutic benefit of screaming a certain four letter “F” word but did you know that screaming in general can be a great stress reliever. Technically it’s not a meditation practice but sometimes that release of all your care and worries is more important than worrying over technicalities. Definitely a practice best reserved for when you are away from crowded areas unless of course you feel that your local police force could do with a bit of entertainment.
Drumming
Personally I’m a huge fan of drumming. There is something truly relaxing and elementally satisfying about the whole experience. I feel as though drumming connects me to the heart beat of Mother Earth. There are quite a few drumming circles out there and a quick Google search should put you in touch with a local one. If group work isn’t your thing then don’t be afraid to tap into your inner child and repurpose a bucket or pots or pans (basically if you can bash away on it then it will do the job).
This list is by no means exhaustive. Meditation should be about relaxation and how that happens for you could be wildly different to what works for me. Experiment with different ideas and when you find what works for you then flow with it and enjoy!
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